Answered by Ustadha Zaynab Ansari
Question: This is a awkward topic many people do not talk about but I think it is important to clarify this issue. Fact is that time is changing. Values and thoughts about life are changing, too. Although we Muslims are striving to hold on our Deen as much as we can the surroundings are affecting us. Well, therefore many young people are studying and cannot think about a family in early ages (because of money issues, or the concentration on the study). The problem is that the body still is the same with its needs. Also a young person who is becoming an adult has the feelings and thoughts about sexual intercourse. Due to the fact that this is forbidden if you are not married, many young people are masturbating. I am not sure about if this is forbidden in Islam but I think yes. Now I know a friend we talked a little about this issue and she said she would not do such a thing. If the feeling comes, she takes Wudu, recites the Quran and prays. Well after 6 months I heard that she did some kind of zina, because she could not endure. What would you suggest us students, who are not married (do not have the opportunity)?
Answer: Dear Sister,
I pray this message finds you well.
Thank you for your question.
This is a question which I have pondered quite a bit and I say we need to rethink how we approach marriage and studies.
Why do people think being in school precludes getting married? If young people have the support of their families and think these things through, then getting married while in school should not be so impossible.
Everyone has his or her own unique capacity for weathering these life changes. Some people can focus on their studies for years at a time and postpone marriage. Other people find that they need to marry early.
The important thing is to ask Allah for help, weigh one’s choices, and plan. With careful planning, people can get married and be in school.
For people who want to get married but can’t, they need to understand they are only human. There is a lot of societal pressure on young people to date and become sexually active. Resorting to masturbation is not a solution and will only bring bad habits into one’s future marriage.
Young people need to be proactive and plan for how they can achieve their academic goals and search for a life partner. The two goals are not mutually exclusive.
May Allah Ta’ala grant you ease,