Answered by Shaykh Jamir Meah
Question: Assalamu alaykum
I saw my husband smoking Marijuana and he doesn’t know that I saw him. Now I’m not sure what to do. I need advice. If I confront him about it I’m scared that he’s just going to denied it and get into a argument with me. What should I do?
Answer: Wa’alaykum assalam. Thank you for your question. Such situations are sensitive, especially if you feel your husband will get angry.
Steps to Take
The first thing is to have good opinion (husn al dhan) and try to ascertain if he is smoking it for a valid reason, such as for medical purposes. You could do this by generally asking him about his health. Perhaps you yourself have noticed something about his behaviour or well-being?
If he shares with you some current problem, or you think that there is a reason behind it, such as stress at work or home etc., then speak to him about these things first, without mentioning the incident. Perhaps talking about things and thinking of solutions together will resolve any pent up tension that may tempt him to smoke.
If there doesn’t seem to be any significant reason, or he doesn’t share anything with you, then just wait a little and see if it happens again. It maybe that it was a one-off and he won’t return to it again.
If it does happen again, then you may just have to gently confront him and tell him that you saw him. Explain to him that you are concerned about him and want to help with anything troubling him. If he gets angry, or it turns out that he smokes it merely out of recreation, then you should tell him that you don’t like it and that it’s not appropriate for Muslims to smoke such things. He may get upset, but he should respect your religious principles and stance. Once you’ve said whatever you need to say, try to avoid further argumentation.
If the above is not possible, or the issue persists or escalates, you may need to consider support from a third party you both trust and are comfortable with.
The following supplications, specifically for when someone is experiencing difficulties, may be helpful to you. You can recite them anytime, but ideally morning and evening, and even after each obligatory prayer.
اللَّهُمَّ لَا سَهْلَ إِلَّا مَا جَعَلْتَهُ سَهْلًا ، وَأَنْتَ تَجْعَلُ الْحَزْنَ إِذَا شِئْتَ سَهْلًا
‘O Allah, there is no ease except in that which You have made easy, and You make difficulties if You wish, easy.’ [Ibn Hibban]
اللَّهُمَّ رَحْمَتَكَ أَرْجُو فَلَا تَكِلْنِي إِلَى نَفْسِي طَرْفَةَ عَيْنٍ وَأَصْلِحْ شَأْنِي كُلَّهُ لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا أَنْتَ
‘O Allah, I hope for Your mercy, do not leave me, even for a blink of an eye, and correct my condition. Besides You, there is none worthy of worship.’ [Hisnul Hasin]
حَسْبُنَا اللَّهُ وَنِعْمَ الْوَكِيلُ
‘Allah is sufficient for us and He is the Best Guardian.’ [al Imran]
May Allah grant you both ease in every difficult situation.
[Shaykh] Jamir Meah
Shaykh Jamir Meah grew up in Hampstead, London. In 2007, he traveled to Tarim, Yemen, where he spent nine years studying the Islamic sciences on a one-to-one basis under the foremost scholars of the Ribaat, Tarim, with a main specialization and focus on Shafi’i fiqh. In early 2016, he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continues advanced studies in a range of Islamic sciences, as well as teaching. Jamir is a qualified homeopath.