I Used to Masturbate. Am I Still a Virgin?
Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil
Question: Assalam aleykum,
I am a young woman who masturbated a lot because of many social and family difficulties. I’ve stopped this sin but feel so guilty, and I wonder if I am still a virgin. Will I experience bad future relationships because of this?
Answer: Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
I pray this finds you well. May Allah reward you for reaching out to us.
Healing
Dear sister, alhamdulilah for your repentance. May Allah keep you far away from this sin. Moving forward, you will need to find better ways of self-soothing.
What helps you release frustration? Regular exercise is important for you.
What helps to keep you calm? Consider booking regular massages, meditation, drinking herbal tea, and so on. Learning how to ground yourself is also very useful and important.
Spiritual support
Strive to read and listen to Qur’an as regularly as you can.
Listen to podcasts such as Content of Character and Why Islam Is True to inspire you.
Virginity
Dear sister, for as long as you do not have sexual intercourse, then you are still a virgin. I pray that Allah grants you a righteous and loving husband.
Repentance
“And He it is Who accepts repentance from His slaves, and forgives sins, and He knows what you do.” [Qur’an, 42:25]
Allah is able to wipe away all of your bad deeds and turn them into good deeds. Please don’t be fooled by shaytan’s call to despair.
Marriage
Before you get married, I encourage you to please enrol in and complete: Marriage in Islam: Practical Guidance for Successful Marriages.
May Allah grant you success in your journey to Him.
Please see:
Love, Marriage and Relationships in Islam: All Your Questions Answered
Wassalam,
[Ustadha] Raidah Shah Idil
Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil has spent almost two years in Amman, Jordan, where she learned Shafi’i’ fiqh, Arabic, Seerah, Aqeedah, Tasawwuf, Tafsir and Tajweed. She continues to study with her Teachers in Malaysia and online through SeekersGuidance Global. She graduated with a Psychology and English degree from University of New South Wales, was a volunteer hospital chaplain for 5 years and has completed a Diploma of Counselling from the Australian Institute of Professional Counsellors. She lives in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, with her husband, daughter, and mother-in-law.
