Answered by Shaykh Jamir Meah
Question: Assalamu alaykum
Me and my spouse knew one another prior to our marriage. We ended up having intimacy together and sexual intercourse.
We fear that we have committed a major sin numerously. What should we do? We are worried and often get upset over this? Can we be forgiven for our major sins?
Were we required to tell anyone of our sins?
Answer: Wa‘alaykum assalam. Thank you for your question. I hope you’re well insha’Allah.
None other than the noble Prophets are infallible, and therefore all of us are liable to fall into sin, even major ones. The Prophet ﷺ, said, ‘Every son of Adam sins, and the best of those who sin are those who repent.’ [al Tirmidhi]
The Prophet ﷺ informed us that, ‘O’ son of Adam, if you come to me with enough sins to fill the earth and you meet me without associating a partner with me, I will come to you with enough forgiveness to fill the earth.’ [al Tirmidhi]
Any major sin requires earnest repentance (tawba) and the resolve never to return to the sin again. Repentance from major sins requires that one makes wudu, prays two cycles of prayer, and then makes a heartfelt du’a to Allah to forgive them. One may make one prayer of repentance for all the sins together, though it would be optimal to make a separate tawba for each sin or occasion of the same sin.
Once you have sincerely repented and resolved in your heart not to return to the sin, then you should assume that you have been forgiven, consider the matter finished, and that you will not be held to account for it.
Informing others of sins
It is impermissible to inform anyone of past sins, regardless of the circumstance, including one’s parent’s, imam etc. Neither should you mention the matter between yourselves. The Prophet ﷺ said, ‘Every one of my followers will be forgiven except those who expose (openly) their wrongdoings.’ [al Bukhari, Muslim]
Allah Most High, through is Mercy, covers our sins from the eyes and knowledge of people. We should not then expose ourselves by mentioning it to anyone else. Instead, take shelter in the cover of Mercy that Allah has given, make repentance in private to Him, and then move on.
You may also find the following answer helpful:
Can We Deny Having Committed Sins After We’ve Repented From Them?
I wish you all the very best and a life full of blessings and success.
[Shaykh] Jamir Meah
Shaykh Jamir Meah grew up in Hampstead, London. In 2007, he traveled to Tarim, Yemen, where he spent nine years studying the Islamic sciences on a one-to-one basis under the foremost scholars of the Ribaat, Tarim, with a main specialization and focus on Shafi’i fiqh. In early 2016, he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continues advanced studies in a range of Islamic sciences, as well as teaching. Jamir is a qualified homeopath.