Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil
Question: Assalam aleykum,
I lied about being a Syed.
Although my heart yearns for the mosque, I don’t attend because every time people always say this title which reminds me of the sin again and again. I am frightened that I may pass away in this impure state.
What should I do?
Answer: Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
I pray this finds you well. Please forgive me for the delay.
Dear brother, it sounds like you are in a lot of pain. I am not angry at you for writing about your mistake; I am relieved that you have reached out and ask for help.
The door of forgiveness is still open for you. Make your repentance and make a firm resolve to move forward. Empower yourself with the knowledge that you have the rest of your life to make good on your Islam.
There are ways to trace Prophetic lineage in one’s family.
Please speak to your mother about what happened. Come clean with her, apologise sincerely, and ask her to make dua for you. Expect her to reprimand you, so accept it with grace and patience.
Please return to the circles of knowledge at the masjid. Being isolated will only worsen your spiritual and emotional state. Make the intention to clarify this error, and take small steps to rectify it.
Begin by apologising to close friends, and explain the misunderstanding that happened. Clear the air with them.
If you are too ashamed to return to your previous circles of knowledge, then please find new places of remembrance of Allah.
Please don’t despair in the mercy of Allah. Allah loves you, and wishes well for you.
Wake up in the last third of the night and pour your sorrow out to Allah. Perform the Prayer of Need and ask Allah to make a way out for you.
Please find a culturally-sensitive counsellor who can help you work through your feelings of intense guilt, hopelessness and shame. Despair is a weapon of the shaytan. Don’t give him power over you.
You have the choice, and the ability to move forward. Ask Allah for courage, and choose to make good on your Islam.
A Reader on Tawba (Repentance)
A Reader on Patience and Reliance on Allah
Can Those Who Aren’t Descendents of the Prophet or Companions Be Truly Close to Him?
Is Being A Sayyid Such A Big Deal? Even If One Is Not Religious?
[Ustadha] Raidah Shah Idil
Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil has spent almost two years in Amman, Jordan, where she learned Shafi’i’ fiqh, Arabic, Seerah, Aqeedah, Tasawwuf, Tafsir and Tajweed. She continues to study with her Teachers in Malaysia and online through SeekersHub Global. She graduated with a Psychology and English degree from University of New South Wales, was a volunteer hospital chaplain for 5 years and has completed a Diploma of Counselling from the Australian Institute of Professional Counsellors. She lives in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, with her husband, daughter, and mother-in-law.